Episode 8: Diana Butler OAM - “Let Your Pains Be Your Gifts”, the heartache of baby loss
Bianca sits down with Diana Butler OAM — Tasmanian humanitarian, nurse, and founder of Care for Africa — to talk about losing her first son, Tom, as a newborn 40 years ago, and grieving in an era with no language or support for baby loss. Diana traces the line from that loss to founding Care for Africa, and to the moment she found her purpose standing before a Tanzanian community she describes as the reason she was put on this earth.
The conversation closes with Caroline Thain, occupational therapist and trauma-informed clinical leader, joining Bianca to unpack how grief resurfaces across a lifetime, why "toxic positivity" can do more harm than good, and how to support someone who isn't ready to talk.
About Diana:
Diana Butler, OAM, is a Tasmanian humanitarian, whose work has changed lives far beyond our island. As the founder of Care for Africa, she has spent decades advocating for children and communities in Tanzania, turning compassion into action and building lasting pathways to education, health, and Hope. Awarded the Order of Australia medal for her service she balances her leadership of care for Africa with a clinical health career, and works as an after hours nurse manager at the Launceston General Hospital in Tasmania, bringing her health experience into her international aid work. Diana's story is one of quiet determination, deep humanity and the belief that meaningful change often begins with one person simply choosing to care.
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In Episode 8 Caroline Thain joins Bianca to discuss the key takeaways from each person’s experience and help all of us understand from a therapists perspective how and why things work.
Caroline is an occupational therapist, witness intermediary, and clinical leader working within a national youth mental health service. She has expertise in trauma-informed practice, grief and loss, clinical governance, content development, and service improvement. She has a special interest in media, communication, and participation, and is passionate about supporting young people and families through complex challenges while helping to create systems that are safe, accessible, and responsive to their needs.
Caroline also brings personal lived experience of grief and loss to her work. Following the death of her stepfather during adolescence, she developed an early understanding of the profound impact that loss can have on young people and families. This experience has shaped her commitment to ensuring that conversations about grief are compassionate, honest, and grounded in hope. It has also fostered a deep appreciation for the importance of connection, support, and meaningful communication during times of adversity.
RESOURCES
Tasmania:
A Tasmanian Lifeline
Access Mental Health Helpline
Gidget Foundation (Located Launceston and Hobart) PH: 1300 GIDGET
National:
Beyond Blue PH: 1300 224 636
Lifeline PH: 13 11 14
Red Nose Grief and Loss Support PH: 1300 308 307 (24/7, specifically for
pregnancy and infant loss)
SANDS Australia (miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn death): 1300 072 637
Music Credit: “Denali” by Bryant Lowry. Written by Bryant Richard Lowry (BMI). Published by Boss Soundstripe Productions (BMI). Licensed via Soundstripe Inc.
Cover Image: Eden Wilday
CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome and Acknowledgement
01:10 Why Talk About Grief
02:04 Episode Content Warning
02:21 Meet Diana Butler OAM
03:48 Tom’s Birth and Loss
09:40 A Lonely Grief Era
15:14 Finding Voice and Support
17:40 Pregnancy After Loss
20:05 Parenting Shaped by Grief
22:55 Grandchild Triggers and Healing
26:44 Counting Children and Identity
30:12 Nursing Career and Boundaries
33:10 Care for Africa Begins
37:03 Purpose Through Service
40:32 Learning to Grieve in Tanzania
40:53 Hadia’s Funeral Rituals
43:35 Open Casket and Goodbye
45:11 Permission to Grieve
46:55 When Coping Alone Fails
48:48 Advice to Younger Self
50:40 Caroline Joins the Debrief
52:08 Grief Over Time and Meaning
56:43 Trauma Informed Support
01:04:29 When People Avoid You
01:11:56 Coping and Compassionate Closure