Episode 2 - The Choiceless Choice Part 2
Continuing on from Part 1, Bianca discusses the importance of understanding, connection, and finding one's purpose in the aftermath of grief. James shares his coping mechanisms, primarily through physical exertion and running, finding solace in pushing his physical limits. The episode underscores the non-linear nature of grief, emphasizing that everyone experiences and copes with loss differently. The couple also talks about supportive therapies, including counseling, massage, yoga, and maintaining strong personal connections, as they navigate through their emotions. Reflecting on the different coping strategies they used, the episode provides insights into how individuals and couples can support each other through the complex journey of grief. The conversation is enriched by the expertise of Dr. Mai Fransden, who offers psychological perspectives on coping and healing. To learn more about Bianca and James, click back to Episode 1.
In each episode Dr. Mai Fransden joins Bianca to discuss the key takeaways from each person’s experience and help all of us understand from a therapists perspective how and why things work.
She's a psychologist, health behavior change, consultant and researcher based in Tasmania. She earned her PhD in psychology in 2012 and is internationally recognized for her work in promoting health behavior change using incentives. Dr. Fransden is the owner of Trig Psychology, a private practice located in Tasmania, where she focuses on health behavior change, working with first responders, adolescents, and adults, navigating significant life transitions.Her approach is characterized by authenticity and pragmaticism drawing from her varied life experiences.
She uses a range of psychological treatment paradigms to get the best outcome for her clients. In addition to her private practice, Dr. Fransden serves as a psychologist in schools and is an associate researcher at the University of Tasmania. Her research primarily focuses on smoking cessation, particularly among pregnant women, and has led Tasmania wide clinical trials exploring the efficacy of novel incentive based interventions.
Having stepped away from active research, Mai's passion project is science communication and can often be heard on ABC radio sharing mental health hacks. Originally from Denmark. She has called Tasmania Home since 1994. Beyond her professional pursuits, she enjoys engaging in outdoor adventures, endurance sports, and traveling both locally and abroad with her sons. Pictured here with Wally the Dog!
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Resources
Through the Unexpected - information and a list of support options for parents faced with prenatal diagnosis.
Pink Elephants Support Network - offers online grief support and information for miscarriage.
Red Nose or SANDS offers 24/7 telephone grief support on 1300 308 307
Bears of Hope - offers grief support on 1300 11 HOPE or via email: support@bearsofhope.org.au
TFMR Mamas - a resource and community for the TFMR community
**All of the above have specific TFMR pages
PANDA - Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia - supports the mental health of parents and families during pregnancy and in their first year of parenthood - or 1300 726 306.
Lifeline - 13 11 14
Heartfelt - volunteer organisation providing professional photographers to families who have experienced the loss of a baby or child living with serious or life threatening illness.
For the Dads! Red Nose service specifically for Dad’s. Love From Dad - a website and instagram account for bereaved Dads.
Other things mentioned in this episode
The amazing physiotherapist Michaela Muldoon who treated us with a trauma lens - Restore Physio (Launceston)
Mountain Biking Experience - Blue Derby Pods
Meal Train our friends setup - it’s amazing, we would get a notification of what was coming and it gave those that wanted to be a part of it the ability to see what others were cooking so we didn’t end up with a 1000 lasagnes.
The Ring Theory of Grief an article from Psychology Today but also helpful to understand just from this image.
Nick Cave’s Letter to a fellow griever.
The Image of the hole of grief, but how we grow around it.
Point to Pinnacle - the world’s toughest half marathon and the physical feat that I would say changed my life, always held in November in Hobart, Tasmania.
Linden Cook impression range - the footprint ring James has and I have a necklace.
Sarah and Sebastian - birthstone range, I have Herb and both our living children’s birthstone on a bracelet (conveniently both my living children are born in the same month).
Breathwork: unfortunately nothing regular in Launceston, but hopefully that will change! For Hobartians - Alchemy Performance, Embodied Living, and Hobart Breathing Space. Based in Melbourne by they have an App - Breath Haus. And The Lily Flower by Priyanka Saha, she is a loss mum and has just begun healing and somatic healing through breathwork with an online guide.
00:00 Introduction to the Grief Collection Podcast
01:25 The Universality of Grief
02:14 Acknowledging Sensitive Topics
03:28 James's Journey Through Grief
07:47 Therapeutic Activities and Coping Mechanisms
26:57 The Role of Community and Support
31:27 Navigating Work and Social Expectations
37:37 Reflecting on Personal Changes and Acceptance
52:09 Navigating Guilt and Trauma
53:09 Protective Instincts and Coping Mechanisms
56:07 Finding Solace in Connection
01:03:20 Physical Activities as Therapy
01:12:45 Commemorating and Remembering
01:16:56 The Loneliness of Grief
01:27:56 The Healing Power of a New Life
01:33:11 Exploring Breath Work and Medium Sessions
01:35:44 The Role of Structure and Relationship in Coping
01:36:52 Introducing Dr. Mai Fransden
01:38:20 Discussing Grief and Coping Mechanisms
02:01:39 The Importance of Space and Support
02:17:02 Final Thoughts and Acknowledgements