…I’ve got this unrealistic expectation that I’ve ticked all the boxes of triggering things through the pregnancy because that was so damn hard, and now when things come to smack me around the head, I’m so unprepared they knock me for six.

5 weeks postpartum and PAL reflections

After the safe arrival of our daughter, now 5 weeks postpartum, I’ve been reflecting on the pregnancy journey and I can wholeheartedly say it was absolutely, completely and utterly the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and get through, second that is only to saying goodbye to Herbert that final time…

Pregnany After Loss (PAL) - The Heartache of Him Forever Being the Youngest

I had felt a grief bomb waiting to come with this baby surpassing the age of Herb dying. The thought of it made me immensely sad. Of course the trauma brain would tell me I won’t get there at all. But, here we are. I hate the fact Herb is not here, I hate the fact he didn’t get to join our family and live a normal life. I hate that he died. I hate my body caught a parasite. I hate my body for letting it cross the placenta….

Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) - The Storm That is Brewing

Feeling uncomfortable and an impending doom of difficult dates and milestones to get through over the next 5 weeks navigating pregnancy after loss.